New Years Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have a confession to make. I have never ever made New Years resolutions. (I know huge confession) Not only that but I have always cringed when I was supposed to write out goals. I’ve always seen them as pointless. For one it seems like I would always hear people make them, but never keep them or they would be too broad to really be able to tell if you achieved them or not (ie. be a better person). But the main reason that i don’t like making them, is that I don’t know what’s going to happen, I have no idea what the next year has in store. I like to go with the flow, and just see what things happen, and then deal with them as they come. To me putting these goals out there seemed to be confining in some way. Or maybe it’s b/c i don’t like to fail (who does), and so by not making them, I never set myself up to fail. But for whatever reason I don’t make them. That is until this year.

This year has been a big change for our family. & i’ve been confronted by who I am & what I'm doing. Honestly, the transition here has been quite easy, but I think that's what has bothered me. I was expecting to come to Uganda, and be rocked to the core. I was expecting to be able to go out and do all these “good” things for the people here. I was expecting for my life to change. Maybe it’s b/c I’ve been overseas before, and so the I’m not having as much of a culture shock as you do when you are see the poverty for the first time. But i have found myself, doing the exact same things I was doing back in the states. I am a mother to 3 kids 6 and under. So I know that right now my life is sort of spelt out for me. I love staying home with my kids, and really am grateful that I have this time with them. But sometimes I think i get stuck in a rut, and my days pass, and then I think back about what i’ve done... and it makes me sad. I’m not the most disciplined person, and so it’s really easy for me to just do what i need to to get by. But i feel that a lot of life is passing me by.

So this year I’m going to try to make some new years resolutions. I’m not ready to announce all of what they are to everyone (still worried about failing here) but one of them is to do a blog post once a week. I want to work on really thinking about the stuff that has been going on in my head, and maybe sitting down and writing them out will help me. This is a huge thing for me though, b/c I hate to write. I feel like I don’t communicate as well through my writing as I do when i can sit one on one with someone. But I'm going to try it out. Also i don’t know who actually even reads this blog any more, but I know our families enjoy seeing pictures of the kids once in a while, so I’m going to try to do better. :) So here it goes my first New Years Resolution. We’ll see if I still have it by next week.